Becoming Mrs. Lewis by Patti Callahan

Author:Patti Callahan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Published: 2018-10-02T07:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 29

The best of me is merely commonplace,

And I am tired, and I am growing old

“SONNET XII,” JOY DAVIDMAN

The train to Manhattan smelled like rotten fruit, a stench that permeated the car. I stood unsteadily and moved to another car as the train rocked toward New York City. I found a seat, closed my eyes, and imagined that I was sitting with Phyl on an entirely different train from Paddington Station to Oxford. But it was no use.

It was February, and winter held us in its grip. The house was filled with misery. Renee hid and wept in the extra room where she’d moved. The children were confused and anxious and tiptoed around the house. Rosemary and Bobby acted like skittering mice, afraid to be stepped upon.

Sometimes I felt as if my anguished prayers of uncertainty were received into the hands of great Love, and other times I sensed that they hit the ceiling and landed flat in my lap, dusty, withered, and useless. I started to see that faith was something akin to understanding that it didn’t matter so much how I felt but was closer to what I believed.

Meanwhile, Bill and I fought as if our lives depended on the next ill-mannered word. If I held these times in my mind against Oxford, against the smoke-filled peace of the common room at the Kilns or the ivy-draped stones of Headington or the silver-birch-lined lane to Jack’s house, a despondency swept over me that felt both complete and irreversible.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.